Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will be naked everywhere
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
