It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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