"it" just moved
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
