so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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