is wine microwaveable?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
