Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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