Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
