Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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