Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish I only lived at night.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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