that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize