That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
