Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
