I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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