sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
