At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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