it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
