Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
