how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
