omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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