just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
