Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
