I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
