we have officially mastered the walk of shame
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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