That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize