Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
