Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
