There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
