White coat. Heels.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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