he thought i was a dude.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
