I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
