Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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