Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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