my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize