I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
