Already got asked if we're dating
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
