ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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