Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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