there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
