terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
