This is not my ceiling
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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