This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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