I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
