Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
