We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
