But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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