question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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