sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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