That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
