ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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