My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just want nice things and good sex
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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