Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
