I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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