sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
