I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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