I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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