I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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