His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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