i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
