So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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